You Are Your Own Coach. Are you a good one? Do You Monitor Your Self-Talk?
What we say to ourselves is arguably the only thing we have total control over. How much does it effect us?
Everything starts with self talk. No matter what is happening to us - as long as we are conscious and lucid - self-talk is the one thing we always have control over.
I try to think of my “self-talk” like having a coach’s voice in my head. What would I want that coach to say?
As your own coach, you can coach yourself to fail or be a quitter or much much worse. Or, you can coach yourself to use failures to grow, to be a problem solver, to be a person of action, to be honest and self reflective, to be brave, and to be vulnerable. It is important to note that the way we coach ourselves is a choice - not some esoteric thing out of our control. It’s simply a decision. We could all decide to be a better coach right now.
I have also come to believe that we should set goals with our friends, and then become accountable to each other - making our close friends our coaches as well (it’s good to have more than one coach … for example in jiu jitsu I have many teachers, including many - if not all - of our students. Even the first day white belts have taught me lessons).
Imagine a society built on trust where you got my back and I got yours, coaching each other the whole time - striving for growth through honesty and results.
This week I am trying to convince that coach in my head to say a different mantra. That mantra: “Try not to be afraid of becoming your best self.”
The coach in my head apparently has high expectations for me! But shouldn’t any good coach? Shouldn’t all your friends and family too? If you are reading this know this: I have high expectations for you. Very high in fact.
We should all try to be that coach - not just for ourselves, but also for our kids, our families, our communities, and our environments.
Right now my coach is saying: “Focus. You are responsible for the energy you are bringing to this situation.”
So here is my energy: I love you all. We can have a much better society than we currently do. We just need to decide to - and most importantly - we have to not be afraid to. Or if we can’t quell it, then at least confront that fear with courage. The best society possible will take bravery and vulnerability with each other - but just for a little while until we can build up that trust again. Once we find ways to trust our society and each other again, the sky is not even the limit.
There isn’t one.
Thanks for reading!
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About the author:
Josh R. Ketry - Strategy and Systems Director & Consultant - is an advocate for freedom, human growth, and human potential. A Brazilian Jiu Jitsu blackbelt and Academy owner. Growth Mindset student (for life). Entrepreneur. Writer. Philosophy fan. Long-time carnivore diet practitioner for autoimmune issues. Birder. Muskie fisherman. Photographer. No topic off limits. Thank you for reading!
As I've become older I like to think I've become wiser. But also I know that's not quite how it works. To be honest, I question my own belief systems constantly. Still I comfort myself with one of Bertrand Russel's quotes, ' The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts'.
I've been implementing a simple nighttime routine of thinking of three things that went well during the day and identifying one thing to improve. It helps me to stay positive but also gives me something to work on.